When I began the blog, I had intentions on being a ‘mom blogger’. I assumed and chose topics that covered basic ‘mom’ taking care of baby processes. I wrote about washing bottles, because these were ‘mom’ things I hadn’t thought about prior. I had so many ideas but they felt so impersonal and in my own life I ran myself ragged making my sun the center of my universe but I forgot my own needs – proven by my need to go to the hospital for dehydration around 6 weeks (I thought I was having a heart attack, go figure).
A more holistic approach was needed to my mothering. I had, not only, to adjust to my new life as a mother to my son, caring for and nourishing his well-being, but myself! As my postpartum experience expanded and welcomed other mothers into my healing and seeking their advice, I realized that the nurturing and nourishment didn’t stop at my baby. I wouldn’t only be giving nurturance; I’d also be receiving it.
As my son grew up and I basked in my family’s compliments of my mothering (because we have to before we turn into skeptics of our own abilities), I began to consider the idea that I was becoming a nurturer. What a glorious day FOR ME! To some folks self-esteem and confidence to do everyday tasks are normal functional emotional capacities, for ME these are competencies I find difficult to sustain.
The notion that I became a nurturer was such an achievement in my eyes and as my son grew up and I became accustomed to our routines, this belief was reinforced. I AM taking care of someone and to provide the care they deserved I would have to invest in my own self-care. My perspective changed on, what used to be, trivial responsibilities. A shower was ME time. A walk with baby could be meditative self-care AND quality time. Gathering my hair in a braid was my time to gather my thoughts. Writing IS MY outlet; I found a coping mechanism that didn’t include self-medicating (thanks to nursing, I’ve found clarity at multiple points through this journey).
The notion that I could help someone grow and develop their authentic self in a healthy and happy environment (as it should be) still astounds me. That is a LOT of pressure. I’ve been an incognito LOW KEY nurturer this whole time and it took having my son for this perception of myself to find me. I had to really align myself with my vision of what a mother is, because I didn’t grow up with a healthy example. I didn’t readily have a concept of what a healthy family dynamic was at home. That’s why I chose the site name because we all have this innate ‘nurturer’ inside of us, but because of our environment, lifestyles, etc. we’re not able to access it.
I want to create a space of collaboration for mothers and young women alike so that we can build ourselves up internally so that we may take on the challenges that this world has for us. I want to help other (new) moms that are overwhelmed and were in my shoes with baby blues. I want to extend a hand to new initiates of single motherhood/parenthood. The inception of Low Key Nurturer is the acknowledgment that I am on this journey to raise my energy and frequency with the support of MY VILLAGE to meet the needs of my son and myself, to break cycles of abuse, to educate (BATHE) ourselves in pools of knowledge that will be our lifelines, to teach us how to love ourselves, to build financial and intellectual and spiritual wealth.
We all make choices and if we choose to sit in the toxic stew instead of using our strength as women and especially (single) mothers we could be modelling patterns and habits that we don’t necessarily endorse.
What does nurturing look like in your life?